A potion to reduce fear #54

Hey all, and happy Friday.

This week I’m going to explain how to create a fear busting magic potion.

Let’s get started…

Yesterday I presented to 200+ people, which was recorded and could be watched by a further 3,300 people in the organisation.

Straight afterwards I had a 1:1 with someone on my team, and we talked about the presentation and something along the lines of how it was a big thing to talk in front of so many people.

I explained, within the first 6 weeks of joining Facebook I had to stand up in front of 3,000 people, at the Guinness Storehouse, on a stage, full production quality, mic’d up, filmed and live streamed across the globe.

Which led to “surely speaking in front of a few hundred people is easier, right?”

And, yes it is, but it still isn’t easy, right.

Let me explain…

When I presented in front of 3,000 people, on stage, mic’d up - yes I was nervous. I don’t know what it was specifically that was making me nervous, maybe everything. I do remember scripting what I was doing to say, word for word, which is unusual for me. I remember the overwhelming bright lights as I walked on stage.

But, I did my thing, and even got a selfie at the end while up on stage.

Yeah, I was nervous. As you can imagine.

Yesterdays presentation was different from a nerves perspective. As we got closer to the start time I could feel the occasional bubble of nerves appear, but I was able to handle them.

After all, what was I to be nervous about?

And I understand, nervousness/anxiousness is a natural response to things like this.

And also, nervousness itself is short lived, it is the worry about a some unknown fear in the future.

What is there to fear?

And this leads me to other discussions and observations I have had recently.

People seem fearful about many things.

People are fearful to show their pieces of art to people.

People are fearful to tell people about the things they are doing.

People are fearful about trying new things.

People are fearful about sharing their ideas or passions.

The list goes on, and on, and on.

In one example, someone I know has a passion and follows it. But they don’t follow it with their full energy, because they are fearful that other family members will find out. They are fearful they will find out and judge that person. They are fearful that the passion/idea won’t work out, and they will fail publicly.

NOTE: this persons passion isn’t anything extreme, if anything it’s fairly average.

And I get it, but I also don’t get it. And yet I still get it, and it annoys me that I get it - you see, those types of fears are in me, they are in everyone around us.

And unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be any way to take those fears away, other than just not giving a f@#k about what people think.

Not giving a f@#k if things don’t work out.

Not giving a f@#k about the judgements other people make.

But you can’t just not give a f@#k by itself, you need extra ingredients.

So what is the magic potion?

And this is how I deal with challenging, nerve inducing situations.

I try to not give a f@#k about what other people think.

Which in reality is difficult to do, and not always sustainable or possible to do.

So I sprinkle in a mix of genuine humility - “yeah, I could be wrong, I’m happy to hear it”.

And the final ingredient - understanding that life is way too short. So do what the f@#k you want to do.

Fin.

So now you have the recipe for a magic, fear, anxiety reducing potion.

You just need to figure out how to get the ingredients.

And for clarity, that fear/nervousness doesn’t go away - you just become more able to push though it.

I still have some fear/nervousness/anxiety about posting these newsletter out every week. But, and don’t take this the wrong way - while I genuinely care about each one of you who reads these, and I always try to write something which brings you value - I can’t control how it will be received by you all individually, so I need to not give too many f@#ks about that.

And, after all - I’m just sharing my thoughts and experiences - yours are likely to be different, and I am happy about that - we can learn from each other - with humility.

And, life is way too short - and if one person reads one of my newsletters and it helps them in any small way - well, what a contribution I would have made in the world by simply writing 54 newsletters.

And those thoughts, that magic potion, enables me to push though my own blockers and write these weekly.

Just one small example.

Happy Friday everyone.

As always, wishing you much love and happiness.

Enjoy making your fear resistant potions and trying them out.

And remember, life’s too short, try to be humble and above all - just don’t give a f@#k.

John