It’s because you’re not doing anything about it. #48

Hey all, it has been a while.

And I’ve missed it, I miss writing, I miss the process, I miss the thinking, and I miss you.

And even though some of us have never met, or spoken, some of us have, so when writing I take the idea of those people who I know - mash it all up and think - what would I like to share with you? What do I feel would be of use to you?

So here we are.

I was reminded of the impact and purpose of this newsletter recently. How people can often read these and take something away with them. Not every time, not on all topics but sometimes, something resonates with someone. And that is the purpose of these emails.

That recent reminder was how an old friendship and connection was reborn with a simple reply to one of these emails with a “I loved your newsletter this week, I really needed to hear that”. And to that person, I wish you peace 🙏.

So this week, what are we talking about? Let’s begin…

It’s supposed to be difficult

I am a man who struggles.

I take on too much, I overthink things, I’m never happy with what I have and I’m always pursing more. Not wealth or standing, more just a sense of malcontent - a general dissatisfaction, dissatisfaction mixed with rebellious tendencies.

The feeling that things could always be better.

That place where pessimism and optimism meet, but with a purposeful view towards optimism.

It’s more of a curse really, but I accept it and somehow manage to draw strength from it.

But what would the alternative be?

When I was younger I lived on a council estate in a poor’ish area.

When I was younger I was given career advice which amounted to - “you’re not going to go far in life, accept your fate”.

When I was younger I went from job to job, flipping burgers, working as a labourer and even spent one week chopping the heads off fish in the local fish factory.

What would life have looked like if I hadn’t been that young malcontent person believing in something better?

Would I still be working in factories? Still trying to get that employee of the month at McDonalds? Getting on the bus smelling of fish?

So what is the alternative?

We ultimately have a choice of 2 paths to walk down in life…

• The one assigned to us at birth, the one with little resistance, the one brought about by circumstance

• Or, the one which is more difficult, the one which feels uncomfortable to follow, the one that sometimes hurts, or frustrates - that lesser worn path

Of the two, obviously the second one is more difficult. But perhaps more purposeful.

Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor, explains to us 2000 years ago…

“What do I have to complain of, if I’m going to do what I was born for — the things I was brought into the world to do? Or is this what I was created for? To huddle under the blankets and stay warm?” - Marcus Aurelius

Was I born to flip burgers, carry bricks, or chop the heads off dead fish? - I’d hope not.

But that would have been the path with the least resistance right? The default path for me.

Without knowing it at the time, that malcontent, defiant attitude of mine forced me onto the second path.

Over the past 20+ years I’ve spent 8 years studying part-time, evenings and weekends. I remember several holidays having to take my laptop with me to do university assignments (admittedly sat there with a nice cold beer).

I’ve been called a fool twice for quitting full-time, well paid “jobs for life”.

I’ve been laid off twice, once within a year of been there and the other time when living in a foreign country with no support network.

Instead of just doing a PhD, I also turned up at the local startup hub every week and gave free AI advice to startups. I would be the first to volunteer to give talks, and I even spun up a separate research stream to make sure I could get some publications out. And not forgetting, taking on extra work teaching at a university where I would drive a 5 hour round trip to teach a 3 hour lesson.

And on top of all this, I’ve always had a side project on the go, right now its Vault16, and even writing things like this. But before that it was games development, web development, starting a computer repair business, the list goes on.

So while I am a man who struggles and takes on too much, I am a man who struggles by choice because I don’t believe I was created for anything less.

And lets be honest, it’s paid off right?

The advice?

Every now and again someone reaches out, usually on LinkedIn, asking for advice.

I always try to be descriptive and give advice I think is relevant and personalised to them. But, more recently I am reminded of this…

“You get what you deserve. Instead of being a good person today, you choose instead to become one tomorrow.”- Marcus Aurelius

Many of us know what the right things to do are, but we often put them off until tomorrow, a tomorrow that never comes.

While I was going through my journey, I didn’t have any advice or guidance from anyone - I just did what I thought was right. But the keyword in that sentence is “did”.

And thats why I’m writing this newsletter today (Tuesday to be posted out on Friday). I knew I’d let it drift, I knew I wanted to do it - but I also knew, if I’d put it off until tomorrow, then tomorrow would never have come.

You see, doing something is often better than delaying anything until tomorrow.

So…

If you’re unhappy in your career, it’s because you’re not doing anything about it.

If you’re unhappy with your weight or health, it’s because you’re not doing anything about it.

If you’re unhappy in your social life, it’s because you’re not doing anything about it.

You see, we don’t need gurus to tell us what to do, we often know ourselves. So think now, do now, don’t put it off until the tomorrow that never comes.

Fin.

Have a good weekend everyone.

John.

P.S.

I like writing these, but I’m pretty bad at promoting them, so please share if you think someone would like to read this…